Lill Buddah

I feel like the hanged man. Ever since I came back to Oslo i´ve been restless. Just hanging. After everything that happend to me last year I know I need to take it slow and start from the beginning with everything. And in the same time I want things to start. I want to be fit again, I wanna have new goals to go for, new dreams, I wanna start creating and make things again. 

But I´m like the hanged man, just hanging there, waiting, reflecting, with alot of ideas and a new way to look at the world around him. 

It´s like I´m waiting for something to happen and the same time I know it´s something within me that needs to come out in order for me to grow and come back from this timeless period of my life. Like Prana, life energy!
Because I live in a scandinavian country I nothis this behavior in people around me to. We are like the bears going underground for the winter. Dreaming, resting, taking care of each other and waiting for spring and a time when our ideas will grow. 
For me this meen that right now I have a need for falling back, in to my sacred space, into my memories and hopes. To go through what happend, to understand what led up to this unbalance in my life is something I´m thinking about to not make that mistake again and to better understand life. I strongly belive that everythings happen for a reason and a cause. For people to reflect and learn. 

I have to say to myself and strongly belive that time is something I need to give myself. Not stress this feeling out of me, but have no fear of feeling it, fully.